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The Slug Report
The latest news delivered at a slug's pace
Sports
Soul of Aaron Rodgers requests trade to new person
"Being here is a waste of my time, and I'm immortal," explained the frustrated energy.
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 11
Jerry Jones to ban seating, hydration from Dallas Cowboys sideline
"While the other team is rehydrating, we're curing like a fine-tuned jerky," said Jones, likely basing the idea on his own skincare routine.
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 12, 2024
NASCAR announces Machu Picchu street race
"Come next summer, it will be impossible to bring up the Inca Empire without mentioning NASCAR’s undeniable impact," said CEO Jim France.
Mackenzie Moore
Aug 12, 2024
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