"I’d forget everything I hold dear if it meant being freed of the image of my father squeezing the white-sand beach between his yellow-nailed grippers," said Stiegel's visibly shaken daughter.

"He was clearly asking for trouble,” remarked the father of two, strolling past the deli counter with a loaded pistol as if the roast beef would suddenly come back to life and charge.

“Oh, so if a cartoon bear walks around without pants or underwear it’s totally fine and cute, but a 33-year-old man does it and suddenly it’s a crime?” grumbled Burke.