Parent wondering where school got the gall to educate child

Scowling as her child worked on his homework at the dining room table, mother Jenny Sanders began to question what gave the local middle school the bright idea to educate her son. 

“They’re teaching him things I’ve never even heard before — why would I trust any of that garbage?” questioned Sanders, having read zero books since graduating high school in 2005. “Frankly, I find it all to be pretty disrespectful. Every parent wants their kid to turn out better than them, but that doesn't mean he should know more than me about anything."

Sitting down to an evening of “Dancing with the Stars” while taking in the facts of the day by scrolling through Facebook, the dental hygienist pondered a switch to homeschooling.

“My boy has no reason to fill his head with useless notions about civil rights, the environment, or any of that gay stuff. To him, ‘LGBTQ’ should be nothing but letters in the alphabet,” nodded the 38-year-old, looking on proudly as her son ogled a picture of a shirtless Clark Kent. “He’s going to grow up to be a strong American patriot, not a weak Antifa sissy.” 

Skimming through the state’s 7th grade math and history curriculums, Sanders concluded she’d start by letting her tween know that “perimeter” is something the police search to find bad guys and that “the Middle Ages” are from roughly 45 to 65. 

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Photo courtesy of thetorpedodog via CC BY-SA 2.0