The TSA says security breaches have tripled since 2022.
While the agency acknowledges that the announcement is concerning, they plan to crack down on the biggest offender — those who don't want to throw away a $10 bottle of water.
-----------------
McDonald's has bought out all 225 locations in Israel following costly boycotts due to the ongoing Palestinian genocide.
While leaving both Israel and Russia must be tough on the bottom line, the corporation looks forward to expanding into North Korea.
------------------
A former member of the National Guard who fled the country to dodge child pornography charges has defected to the Russian military.
Impressive — he actively chose one of few punishments worse than being a pedophile in prison.
-------------------
Alabama police found four pounds of cocaine in a child's backpack.
Even worse, his homework was to make five.
-------------------
New Yorkers were surprised with a 4.8 magnitude earthquake today.
The earthquake is believed to have been caused by shifting tectonic plates and five-person tourist families rushing to get a photo with Times Square Elmo.
-----------------
Conan O'Brien will be a guest on "The Tonight Show" for the first time since his acrimonious exit 14 years ago.
Unfortunately, Jay Leno is expected to sit on Conan's lap and answer all of the questions himself.
----------------
Photo courtesy of rds323 via CC BY 2.0