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Mitch McConnell Reaching Across Aisle For Uppies
“Ah jeez, he’s doing that thing again,” sighed Minnesota senator Amy Klobuchar as McConnell extended his arms in her direction, opening and closing his hands while staring unblinkingly.
Mackenzie Moore


Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Mackenzie Moore
37 minutes ago2 min read


Holiday Shopping, Penny Cancellation, and the Heisman Conniption
The Desk 12/15/25
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 15, 20252 min read


Iran strike, Bezos wedding, and the next great former Maverick
The Desk 6/26/25
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 26, 20252 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Mar 26, 20252 min read


Confirmation hearings, Mr. Baseball, and Conan's quaff
The Desk 1/16/25
Mackenzie Moore
Jan 16, 20252 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Jan 9, 20252 min read


Cyber Monday, steamed hotdish, and airdropping turkeys
The Desk 12/2/24
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 2, 20242 min read


The Desk: Election Day 2024 edition
The Desk 11/5/24
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 5, 20242 min read


Chicken-induced heart attacks, NFL locker room privacy, and morally upstanding porn actors
The Desk 10/7/24
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 7, 20242 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Sep 30, 20242 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Sep 17, 20242 min read


Death row, the Taliban, and the Dallas Cowboys
The Desk 8/26/24
Mackenzie Moore
Aug 26, 20242 min read


Meth celery, spine cracking, and the best Dutch man to bully
The Desk 8/14/24
Mackenzie Moore
Aug 14, 20241 min read


Celine Dion, Flava Flav, and the Olympic blunt
The Desk 7/29/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 29, 20242 min read


Kamala Harris, Slim Shady, and rolling out of moving taxis
The Desk 7/23/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 23, 20242 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Jul 2, 20242 min read


Tonight's 'real debate,' Olympic doping, and bread roulette
The Desk 6/27/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 27, 20242 min read


Mummified beachgoers, evicted ships, and the Detroit Pistons
The Desk 6/20/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 20, 20242 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Jun 7, 20242 min read


Athletic raccoons, mercury poisoning, and Harrison Butker
The Desk 5/16/24
Mackenzie Moore
May 16, 20242 min read
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