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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Mackenzie Moore
Jul 2, 20242 min read


Tourists, rat holes, and blobfish Weinstein
The Desk 4/25/24
Mackenzie Moore
Apr 25, 20242 min read


Middle schooler unimpressed with quality of liquor in teacher's coffee
Does a child have wildly extravagant taste, or does Schubert simply buy bottom shelf booze?
The answer: both.
Mackenzie Moore
Sep 14, 20232 min read


Surgeon receives OWI after cracking beers in operating room
"I mean come on — I'm not driving a car, I'm doing brain surgery. It's not rocket science," said Dr. Fowley.
Mackenzie Moore
Apr 24, 20233 min read
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