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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Paul McCartney, Swedish murderers, and cornhole
After teasing a third party run, Sen. Joe Manchin has announced he won't be running for president after all. "Oh no! Well, anyway..."...
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 16, 20242 min read


TCU kicked out of March Madness after shooting blood at Gonzaga players through eyes
Down late in the second half, survival instincts kicked in for the Horned Frogs.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 20, 20232 min read
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