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Mitch McConnell Reaching Across Aisle For Uppies
“Ah jeez, he’s doing that thing again,” sighed Minnesota senator Amy Klobuchar as McConnell extended his arms in her direction, opening and closing his hands while staring unblinkingly.
Mackenzie Moore


Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Meth celery, spine cracking, and the best Dutch man to bully
The Desk 8/14/24
Mackenzie Moore
Aug 14, 20241 min read


Athletic raccoons, mercury poisoning, and Harrison Butker
The Desk 5/16/24
Mackenzie Moore
May 16, 20242 min read


Lauren Boebert apologizes for smoking crack on Disney World teacup ride
"Yes, I rubbed one out and smoked crack around children in two separate instances. A good president would've done both at once."
Mackenzie Moore
Sep 17, 20232 min read
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