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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Mike Tyson, State of the Union address, and aliens
The Desk 3/8/24
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 8, 20242 min read


George Santos 'looking forward' to going back to old life as astronaut, surgeon
Note: This interview has been thoroughly fact checked.
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 20, 20233 min read


RFK Jr., Forbes billionaires, and avian mass suicide
Former President Donald Trump slammed Forbes yesterday after he failed to make the magazine’s top 400 billionaires list. He did, however,...
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 10, 20232 min read


United States government to crack down on school shootings by banning schools
“There have been over 360 school shootings since Columbine, and believe me when I say that I now find this unacceptable,” said Sen. Cruz.
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 16, 20233 min read
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