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Mitch McConnell Reaching Across Aisle For Uppies
“Ah jeez, he’s doing that thing again,” sighed Minnesota senator Amy Klobuchar as McConnell extended his arms in her direction, opening and closing his hands while staring unblinkingly.
Mackenzie Moore


Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Bob Ross, Kraft Singles, and the death penalty
Sen. John Fetterman said today "If those jagoffs in the House stop trying to shut our government down and fully support Ukraine, I will...
Mackenzie Moore
Sep 20, 20231 min read


Purchasing new condiment highlight of young adult’s week
It takes very little effort to turn a bowl of rice and beans into a bowl of rice and beans with Frank’s Red Hot in it.
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 24, 20233 min read
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