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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Old Navy introduces junior maternity clothing line for Fourth of July sale
The line is the first of its kind to cater to those between the ages of 10-15.
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 4, 20242 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Jul 4, 20232 min read


Fireworks to be replaced by livestream of old man eating soup
For a holiday marked by missing fingers and Old Navy sales, there's no need to get too high tech.
Mackenzie Moore
Jul 3, 20233 min read
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