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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Swifties scrambling to decipher Easter egg after Taylor Swift spotted eating bologna sandwich
“The sandwich has lettuce and tomato on it. Am I the only one who doesn’t think that’s a coincidence?” questioned user loverlass22.
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 9, 20242 min read


Jason Kelce retires, immediately throws all clothing in bonfire
The Super Bowl champion notably did not set any of his underwear ablaze, most likely because he did not own any to begin with.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 4, 20242 min read
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