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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Trump refuses to exit bathroom as ‘Gulf of America’ continuously deadnamed
"God, it makes me want to pardon a warlord," muttered Trump.
Mackenzie Moore
Jan 22, 20252 min read


March Madness, happiness, and pig kidneys
The Desk 3/22/24
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 22, 20242 min read


Marjorie Taylor Greene introduces bill to outlaw menus without pictures of food
"Just show me a picture of a taco and I will point it out to you,” stated Rep. Greene.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 1, 20232 min read
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