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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Taylor Swift elected Speaker of the House
"What she lacks in political experience is made up for by her lack of political experience," said Rep. Ralph Norman.
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 15, 20232 min read


Catty politicians, Parisian bedbugs, and the Nobel Prize
Rep. Matt Gaetz filed a motion this evening to strip House Speaker Kevin McCarthy from his position. It'll be tough to make happen, but...
Mackenzie Moore
Oct 2, 20232 min read


Rep. Gaetz avoids sex trafficking charges after DOJ confirms that none of the victims had abortions
"Given that there’s no fetuses involved and Gaetz appears to be in good spirits, all bases have been covered and the case is closed.”
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 15, 20232 min read
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