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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Iran strike, Bezos wedding, and the next great former Maverick
The Desk 6/26/25
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 26, 20252 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Jul 2, 20242 min read


Mummified beachgoers, evicted ships, and the Detroit Pistons
The Desk 6/20/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 20, 20242 min read


Source: Bronny James 'likely' to be drafted by dads on community rec center team
"After winning state in '96, I was like a king at school. Now, I can't even get a hug from my daughter's choir teacher," scoffed Brierson.
Mackenzie Moore
May 29, 20242 min read


NBA to begin awarding four points for tackling
"This is completely wrong. I'm being targeted," said currently injured 76ers star Joel Embiid.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 14, 20242 min read


Draymond Green to receive anger management training from tantrum-prone toddler
4-year-old counselor Levi Anders was recently suspended from Sunnyside Daycare until he stops punching kids for knowing how to count.
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 15, 20232 min read
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