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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Starbucks to combat 'war on Christmas' complaints with new fetus flavor
"This is as close as I'll ever come to tasting baby Jesus, and gosh is he sweet," said Minnesota mom Pam Salders.
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 19, 20232 min read


Snoop Dogg, Starbucks, and global conflict
The United Auto Workers have endorsed agreements between three major Detroit automakers, the most popular being Ford's with 67% support....
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 16, 20232 min read
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