top of page
News


Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


'GTA VI' protagonist to be guy trying to sneak out of work 30 minutes early
Make way for Greg Silas, a 54-year-old, balding accountant who just wants to get home to see the 5 o'clock news live for once.
Mackenzie Moore
Dec 6, 20232 min read


Pardons, Belgian STDs, and violent children
In an appearance on Meet the Press, former president Donald Trump said he could've pardoned himself while in office, but "had no...
Mackenzie Moore
Sep 15, 20232 min read
bottom of page
