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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Report: Vladimir Putin traveling across United States with suitcase full of disguises in effort to vote illegally throughout country
"I love peaches, don't you? I mean, wow. So fuzzy. Can I borrow your name and address?" said Putin to a voter waiting behind him in Georgia.
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 5, 20242 min read


Super Bowl ads, listeria, and Times Square
More foods are being recalled due to a deadly outbreak of listeria poisoning, including seven-layer dip, chicken enchiladas, and taco...
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 9, 20242 min read
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