Perp caught stealing apple pie from windowsill sentenced to death: 'It was still steaming'

Some crimes are all over the news. Flip on the TV and one would be hard-pressed to find a station not reporting stories about murder, assault, and arson.

On the other hand, there are crimes — some of the most sinister of all — which are kept buried in the depths of public consciousness as to prevent a deep mental spiral for all of humanity. But now, finally, justice will be received in one such offense — a perp who stole a pie from a windowsill has been sentenced to death.

In July, nine-year-old Jiminy Wilkes was observed sneaking out of Mabel Nesbitt's yard carrying an apple pie. Now, after a six-month trial, the miscreant will see the electric chair before he has the chance to see fifth grade.

"I had just baked a fresh pie from my five grandchildren — Peter, Penny, Paul, Patricia, and Pamela — and set it on the windowsill to cool. I turned my back to wash up and next thing I knew, it was gone," said Ms. Nesbitt, adding that the baked good was still steaming at the time of the crime.

In court, the Scottsboro Elementary student tried to appear regretful, but the act ultimately rang hollow after showing up with apple pie filling on his face multiple times — evidence that he was continuing to wreak havoc on the small Alabama town.

"Golly gee, mister — I sure am sorry for what I've done," claimed Wilkes while speaking to Judge Cornelius Hamilton during one appearance. "I'm just a little ol' farm boy. I didn't mean no harm."

There are a few outliers who defend the cruel thief, pointing to the theory that his bought with yellow fever may have caused brain damage which harmed his decision making and empathy abilities.

Even so, there's another point of view that's overwhelmingly agreed upon — the boy has the devil in him.

"It's exactly like Adam and Eve. Much like God provided plenty of food for Eve in the garden and she ate the apple anyway, Jiminy's mother baked plenty of berry, peach, and cherry pie at home, but he decided that it wasn't good enough for him. Whether it's an apple or apple pie, this is clearly the work of Satan," said Gertrude Dixon, citing the church bake sale she participated in alongside Wilkes' mother.

The 70-pound boy will spend the rest of his days at maximum security Bullock Correctional Facility. While it may take years for Jiminy Wilkes to meet his end, the horrified can rest assured that his fellow prisoners will almost certainly never let him know a day of peace.

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Photo courtesy of Hmbaker vai CC BY-SA 4.0