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Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin

"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.

Mackenzie Moore

Trump deported to El Salvador after stating 'homegrown criminals are next'

“Please disregard any images of the first lady popping champagne, high-fiving, and grinning from ear to ear," said press secretary Karoline Leavitt.

Mackenzie Moore

Penguin-only islands targeted by Trump tariffs ‘strongly considering’ military action against United States

“You ever seen ‘Mr. Popper’s Penguins’? We are conniving sons of bitches," threatened eastern rockhopper penguin Bruce Elliot.

Mackenzie Moore

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'GTA VI' protagonist to be guy trying to sneak out of work 30 minutes early

Make way for Greg Silas, a 54-year-old, balding accountant who just wants to get home to see the 5 o'clock news live for once.

Mackenzie Moore

Dec 6, 20232 min read

Puerto Rican cats, feces-filled Pringles cans, and war crimes

An Ohio lawyer has been suspended after throwing a Pringles can filled with feces onto the parking lot of a crime victim advocacy center....

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 30, 20232 min read

Comprehensive list of people worse off following death of Henry Kissinger

-------------------------- Photo courtesy of U.S. Department of State via public domain

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 30, 20231 min read

Why my family is dressing like Winnie the Pooh this Thanksgiving

When I finally have my whole family around the table, I don't want them to worry about bursting out of their Levis.

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 22, 20232 min read

Ron Johnson on not speaking up about Madison Nazi march: 'I want to be reelected'

"There's all of this conversation these days — 'Nazis are bad,' 'We need to do something about the Nazis.' My question is, what about me?"

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 21, 20233 min read

George Santos 'looking forward' to going back to old life as astronaut, surgeon

Note: This interview has been thoroughly fact checked.

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 20, 20233 min read

Woman struggling with imposter syndrome since losing middle school spelling bee

Despite her struggles, the English professor tries not to let the memory dictate her life.

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 18, 20232 min read

Snoop Dogg, Starbucks, and global conflict

The United Auto Workers have endorsed agreements between three major Detroit automakers, the most popular being Ford's with 67% support....

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 16, 20232 min read

Marvel announces new superhero to be out of shape guy lying on couch

The new hero has undiagnosed PTSD and hasn't gone for a jog since the Reagan administration.

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 15, 20232 min read

Barry Manilow, Marines, and the Supreme Court

Senate Democrats are pushing ahead with a resolution that would circumvent Alabama Sen. Tommy Tuberville's blockade on confirming...

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 14, 20231 min read

Bucky Badger, Willie the Wildcat attend therapy together prior to matchup: 'For Becky'

"She wanted to eat Bec-key Lime Pie ice cream and drink glass after glass of milk. You're a cat — you're lactose intolerant!" said Bucky.

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 10, 20233 min read

Trump explains why he valued old, rotting treehouse at $100 million

"I have fond memories of my nanny carrying me up that tree from the ages of five to 15," said Trump.

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 8, 20232 min read

Banks, narcs, and The Wiggles

Deposits at major banks including Wells Fargo, Chase, and Bank of America were delayed due to what officials are calling "human error."...

Mackenzie Moore

Nov 4, 20232 min read

Trump forced to sell beloved golden toilet in order to pay legal fees

“I was hiding on that thing in the bathroom during all of it," said Trump.

Mackenzie Moore

Oct 25, 20232 min read

Not today, toxic masculinity: This man makes an effort to hold hands at the urinal

Hatred. Poverty. War. All things that are less important than today's #1 issue — toxic masculinity. Aka the cultural practice of men...

Mackenzie Moore

Oct 22, 20232 min read

Taylor Swift elected Speaker of the House

"What she lacks in political experience is made up for by her lack of political experience," said Rep. Ralph Norman.

Mackenzie Moore

Oct 15, 20232 min read

RFK Jr., Forbes billionaires, and avian mass suicide

Former President Donald Trump slammed Forbes yesterday after he failed to make the magazine’s top 400 billionaires list. He did, however,...

Mackenzie Moore

Oct 10, 20232 min read

'Mein Kampf' to be only book allowed in school libraries

"This country would be an awful lot better if people accepted the good word into their hearts," said Welles.

Mackenzie Moore

Oct 7, 20232 min read

Vacation fund primarily for coffee, 'little treats'

"I haven't had a vacation in years, but have you ever had a cake pop?" said Winona, Minnesota P.E. teacher Eric Wilcox.

Mackenzie Moore

Oct 4, 20232 min read

Teachers unions to strike unless given right to smack one kid per quarter

With major strikes happening across the country, many teachers are calling for a strike of their own. While most would assume they would...

Mackenzie Moore

Oct 3, 20232 min read