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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Iran War, March Madness, and Conan O'Brien's Cleavage
The Desk 3/19/26
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 192 min read


Girl Scouts, Russian Olympians, and Alabama
The Russian Olympic Committee has lost its appeal against the suspension put in place by the International Olympic Committee, meaning...
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 23, 20242 min read


Puerto Rican cats, feces-filled Pringles cans, and war crimes
An Ohio lawyer has been suspended after throwing a Pringles can filled with feces onto the parking lot of a crime victim advocacy center....
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 30, 20232 min read


Snoop Dogg, Starbucks, and global conflict
The United Auto Workers have endorsed agreements between three major Detroit automakers, the most popular being Ford's with 67% support....
Mackenzie Moore
Nov 16, 20232 min read
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