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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Tonight's 'real debate,' Olympic doping, and bread roulette
The Desk 6/27/24
Mackenzie Moore
Jun 27, 20242 min read


Athletic raccoons, mercury poisoning, and Harrison Butker
The Desk 5/16/24
Mackenzie Moore
May 16, 20242 min read


Punxsutawney Phil, Elmo, and the CIA
Punxsutawney Phil didn't see his shadow today, clearly predicting an early spring. Given the groundhog's batting average, meteorologists...
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 2, 20242 min read


Twitter to release feature allowing users to delete other people's tweets
However, users will not be able to delete tweets "just because they're threatening, offensive or the best of both worlds," said Musk.
Mackenzie Moore
Mar 27, 20232 min read
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