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Lindsey Graham’s Funeral Includes Separate Roommate Section
"He was quite the devil back then too,” chuckled 71-year-old Gary Hall. “Except it was less pro-bombing and anti-autonomy, more pro-tickling and anti-me shaving my chest hair.”
Mackenzie Moore


Primates Announce ‘Planet of the Apes’ Takeover: ‘We Only Held Back for Jane Goodall’
“We were going to do this back in the '60s, but then Jane Goodall traveled to Tanzania and saved your parasitic asses,” said Banjo, a chimp representing Rwanda.
Mackenzie Moore


Oscar the Grouch decries ‘woke’ Sesame Street after being forcefully moved to compost bin
"They took me away from my family heirlooms!" complained Oscar, referring to dirty diapers, plastic bottles full of dip spit, and a Doritos bag from 1972.
Mackenzie Moore


Catholic man hoping next pope ‘a little less Jesus-y’
"Maybe a Hulk Hogan type,” suggested the 65-year-old Mississippi man.
Mackenzie Moore
May 5, 20252 min read


Mackenzie Moore
Mar 26, 20252 min read


Pope Francis spotted in hospital with fresh breast implants: ‘Maybe they’ll listen now’
“They told me I’d be in here for a while, so I figured ‘What the heck — slap ‘em on me,’” recounted His Holiness.
Mackenzie Moore
Feb 27, 20252 min read
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